Toronto

Author: Yuling Chen

I did a tarot card reading when I was making works about Justin Trudeau, Donald J. Trump, etc., around 2020 and 2019. And it came out with 2 of cups which literally mean twin flames, true love, a psychic combination of female and male sides, duality. Etc. I think it just meant people see my partner as God, real God in the temples and everywhere, my true love, myself. That’s weird. Are they crazy. Who are they seeing? Is it God they saw? Did they see me, myself, single? 

That’s it. They saw me and myself as my partner, that I’m single. I was living in Toronto at the time, at 135 Isabella street. The apartment I had was on the second floor. I had an array of windows in my bedroom of which I often blew smokes from cigarettes while opening them. Also before I graduated I also had two of cups coming out, high priestess and the empress along with nine of pentacles and queen of pentacles which all meant independence, psychic influence, nurturing and luxurious living. That period of time was characterized by many people as LUX which meant lights, luxury and brightness. Everything was out in the open. No one could argue it was blemished, obstructed or hidden. That’s Toronto to me, lux. Even though it was called big smoke, it seemed rather bright to me, my life there, all naked ambitions and an upward aptitude for social climbing. I have stayed there until 2023. Then I moved to Markham taking advantage of the fact that my mother bin Chen, a widow, was called and came to Canada to visit me. She has since stayed and applied for permanent residence.

When I first visited Toronto around 2010, I saw celebrities such as Tom Felton, etc. , at a comic con my mother’s friend, minli Liu took me to see and visit. I didn’t go up to get an autograph for 80 dollars. I was thinking about the fat and overweight women walking in front of me on the streets. Then I was also worrying about how in the night there were people trying to break into her apartment with batons and sticks. I was so scared I ran to my bedroom sitting there and couldn’t sleep. Wild cats gathered at the apartment’s balcony. In between these dates, I also lived briefly at Alex Banman’s aunt’s apartment who was a racist. It was clear from the beginning. I didn’t like them. I could hear her upstairs talking about Asians. Later death card came out. It was rather clear it meant some sort of endings, endings of relationships, transformation of life, a type of death happened literally, physically and spiritually while I was in Toronto. I was scared. But then I realized that’s how it should be: people die and it’s normal. Etc. 

I saw foxes, hare and other animals in the woods and everywhere leaping out of the bushes, ran over, died. In 2013 I worked as a waitress in fickle restaurant. Trump hotel was mentioned as Donald J. Trump came veering into my sight. In 2014 I worked as a server assistant at Luckee restaurant. I got cheated on and it was heartbreaking. It was quite creepy. Alex Banman ran away and came back. I found out who he was and it was shocking. Are people attractive just because they have jobs? Etc.