I was at the port authority bus station. And some sort of visions came after I asked myself where my boyfriend was. I was hurt about these visions, imagination and understandings. The guy I saw at the waterfront was very upset with me saying or indicating I’m annoying and hurtful which I’m not. I had this vision after I went on the bus. I could feel that upset energy surrounding me. He seemed no longer interested in me. I was shocked. On the bus I felt especially hurt when I didn’t see cars and trucks for a few minutes. I reminded myself to break away from the needs that I always needed to see some sort of vehicles. Why would I be in these sorts of relationships with strangers? I felt it was those people who got off on the buses with their suitcases in New York indicating or looking like they are from New York and have a home, life and jobs there. Their appearance inspired such jealousy in people. These types of visions attacks me and probably a lot of people. Since I came back from Toronto, I was busy preparing for the trips in June and worrying about odsp and money. I often had a low mood. And I slept a lot. I went to Toronto and got no inspiration but worries. Due to this I decided to set a monthly goal, budget and spending. For June it would be all about travel, jobs and success. In fact it should be all the months. Am I successful? Or are people hiding the truth of success through various made up stuff and pretending no one reads my blogs and watches my videos? I want to be truly successful. How am I going to achieve it ? When I was hanging out with my mother’s friend, such as qinding, I got the ideas about travel and immigrating to the United States. Is that feasible? Are these all done by university students and universities? There are people who took advantage of me to be successful. I reported them. I think they had lost everything since then. I’m not too sure. But I blocked them. Is that it? Etc.