In 2019 and 2020 I couldn’t find a paying job. So I searched into the nights of news. I clearly remember on scmp there were students shooting arrows during the protests wearing black masks. And people smashed chairs into another’s’ face. People being searched and padded down reporting to be sexually assaulted in Hong Kong during the Hong Kong protests. These types of protests were unprecedented. People left me like my ex husband Alex banman. I was all alone in that apartment. I cannot find a job. It was then after I was arrested and jailed for uttering threats. Then my charges got discharged on a mental health diversion. People like debt collector kept calling and saying they were going to litigate me if I don’t respond. This felt raw. I felt 2019 and 2020 had never left. I still supported those protesters’ causes. But I saw the violence on the street in those videos. I felt something was not supposed to be like that. I deducted it must be the Chinese communist party and their censorship deepening the crisis. I went out today and saw police nearby. It had made me realize maybe the crisis in 2019 and 2020 had never left. I don’t have any secrets. I didn’t do anything except trying to survive in that apartment throwing stuff out, wondering why he, Alex banman, behaved that way and trying hard to write something about it. Etc.